Thursday, June 10, 2010

Moving OUT and Moving ON

Im assuming you are assuming this post is about me finally moving out...NEGATIVE, I wish! Okay so I just thought Id quickly chit chat about the whole moving out situation that Ive been trying to accomplish for the past 65432165401 years, give or take a year or two. So YES, I live with my mother BUT I like to consider it as a co-habitation effort for convenience. So what Im 30 years old still living with my mother, pfft like thats not weird..(Eeeek!). I pay rent and all utilities so its not like Im freeloading but still the thought that Im at home still weighs heavily on me and stresses me out. If you have noticed in one of my previous posts I discuss the horrible act of "envying" someone..*gag*. Sad but true that concept comes into mind when I think about moving out and how Im still at home and everyone else and their mother is out on their own in their own place. I consider myself to be on my own just not in my own place and for my own sanity I HAVE TO GO!

I love my mom and a big part of me doesnt want to leave knowing she is alone ya know? I mean thats natural for any child to feel about their parent. I know she wants us to be with her forever and ever and just wants me to be happy but I want her to be happy too! If I find a big enough place with like a back house or a house next store Im SOOOO making her move. My goal is to save enough money to move out in less than a year from now. Jordyn will be starting 5th grade this year and will be in her last year of elementary school, O-M-G I cannot believe she is that old and is on her way to jr high!! OMG where is the throw up bucket...Im gagging as we speak! (containing self........NOW). Focus Shamika! Okay so I have less than 1 year to find somewhere because I REFUSE to let her go to Hawthorne Middle School...I REFUSE! Im sure its an okay school but okay isnt good enough. My angel face is one smart cookie (like her mother..lol) and she needs to be in a school that will help her excel and give her the facility to succeed.

I feel as if Im the only one with this problem yet I know I cant be, I just cant. It depresses me to think that I will never move out because I never have any mula left over to save. I can afford to be on my own easily but cant seem to save the money to actually move, like security, moving expenses, etc. Im also soo damn picky about where we would live that I have anxiety about it. Im soo indecisive about where to live and its stupid because its not like where I live next will be my final destination as far as that is concerned. So I ask you all, those who have moved out, do you have any advice, suggestions, recommendations, gripes, concerns, anything!?!?! Its not like its rocket science, this I know but is there something that Im missing here? Will I be 50 still at home unable to decorate my childs room because my mom wont let me?? ha ha ha ha ha ha Ohhhhhhh the joy!

Maybe this was just a rant and your job is to just read it and feel glad that this isnt you..or maybe you are the landlord of an awesome house for rent and will allow me to pay for my security deposit in payments...lol.

Wishful thinking always gets me by......

3 comments:

Selase said...

Speaking of landlords... that's how me and Crystal got our first place. Free rent being landlords. Sh*t... I was 17 yrs old serving fools 3 day notices to pay rent or move out. Was kind of stressful, but for it being our first place, it was a cool experience. Just a suggestion :)

Meekz said...

How do you become landlords?

Selase said...

Damn... I'm like a month late on replying. But it was through her crackhead mom :)