Here goes another attempt to lose weight. Whats a shame is that I know where this is heading, before I even start. So if you havent noticed in the side bar that Im reading "The Biggest Loser 6 Weeks to a Healthier You" well now you know. Ive noticed that with me, my 'need' to get healthy is greater than my 'want' and because of that, I FAIL MISERABLY AT EVERY ATTEMPT TO LOSE WEIGHT.
I have been big my whole life, not as big as I am now but most of my life Ive been 'thick' and there is only so many pounds past 'thick' in which I can con myself into thinking Im still....'thick'. The "F" word is horrible to hear but the truth hurts...I am now...fat. My goal is to lose major weight so that I can be happier and most of all healthier. My weight plays a very crucial role in how Jordyn sees herself also. She's always been 'thick' and I know all too well how it feels to be the big girl in elementary school. Luckily she doesnt really get teased but she has absolutely no confidence in herself and is far too scared to stand up for herself no matter what the situation. How are we even related?!?!?! jk. Ive taught her to be strong her whole life and when she was younger she was a tough little cookie, now as a 9yr old she has forgotten everything I've raised her with and she's more insecure now than ever. Its to be expected, she's a growing girl. I make sure that I tell her that I dont want her to be big like me when she gets older, its really not easy at all, no matter what age you are. So, I have to be better, for her.
I try to get Bruce (the bf) on board too but, I dont have much luck with him and Ive noticed that if he isnt all in, I tend to lose the fight of losing weight too. We are all connected and all 3 of us need a major change. If we arent trying as a family, we fail as a family. We pay for gym memberships that we dont even use, Bruce has an opportunity to do Kettle Bells with a friend to help him out and he doesnt go, Jordyn now doesnt even want to go to softball practices, she just wants to play in games. If you couldnt tell, we've become beyond LAZY and its killing us. You know what really sucks? I envision many things for us as a family but we are always so broke that we cant even afford healthier things to eat and the food plays a MAJOR part in this journey. We've gotta make something work and NOW. I found out in July that I have diabetes and shortly after found out that my dad has had it for a while. I should have taken better care of myself even though my chance of having it because he did was high, if I knew he had it maybe I would've done something so it would never have showed up. Bruce has gout and Jordyn is pre-diabetic.
Where is our will power, where is our motivation? We've lost it and we cant get up...LITERALLY! lol ok jokes aside, we're a bunch of fatties (minus Jo, she's just my lil chunky monkey) and we need to lose this, LIKE YESTERDAY! I'll keep you guys updated on my progress, wait...OUR PROGRESS and hopefully we wont dissapoint you, especially ourselves.
I would post my starting weight but then I dont think I could blog and look at you in the face when I see you..lol. You might think I should be playing for the 49ers lol. Hey, bigger might not always be better but this hefty piece of lovin is still beautiful....you and I both know that...lol!
4 comments:
Hey, this is the first step. Realizing that you need to do something. I need to be where you are because I need to lose weight my damn self but I feel you on being motivated and having that support system.
Here's me wishing you luck sweets, you're still as beautiful as I remember you so whatever you decide, I'm here, cheering you on!
Thats why I love you! Thanks so much for the support it really means a lot to me. I need all that I can get! Heck, we can do it together! I just really hope I stick to it this time.
I hear you. I need to start working out but I won't pay for a gym membership since I know myself well enough to know that I won't use it so if I did start walking or whatever, it'd be at the good ol' North High track, haha.
If you're doing any working out that is of the free variety, hollah! haha.
I don't know if you're mom told you about that special "k" diet I went on... but I stuck to it and it worked. Hell, these fools should of paid me, the diet was such a success. I still have lil rolls when I sit down, but it ain't like the tire I use to have. I use to have c cups, now they're A cups. LOL! If you want me too, I'll write down everything I did for a whole year to lose close to 100 lbs. I believe/know you guys can do it.
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